beautiful morning.

the weather forecast says rain is likely today. theodore and i are hanging out, he is gumming a rice cracker and coo-ing. he said "boob" twice last nite just before bed, he was fussing for the nursies and very impatient. emma's and violette's first word was the same: mama. theodore's is boob. i find this amusing and quite appropriate.

today is a big day, thanksgiving at my parent's. we will cook, eat, get a tree, purchase new ornaments and decorate. my parents have a tradition of giving each of their kids a tree ornament every year so when the time comes to move on, we have a good start. their first tree was pretty bare and they decided early on that they didn't want that for their kids. i'm so grateful to them for that. they gave me a box full of ornaments in 2004, and it is always so fun to look through them and see what i've chosen through the years. that little stocking that says brady, i made it in 2002. we still have it, though the stickers are curling at the edges and threatening to fall off. my great grandmother made the little snowflake doilies. my grandma painted the wooden jack in the box. i love having things rich in tradition and history. how blessed i am to have them.

(our tree in 2006)

i want so badly to have holiday rituals and traditions with my children, and at the same time teach them gratitude and appreciation for the privilege to celebrate. i want them to understand that it is our family, being together and making memories that is important and certainly not gifts, greed and excess.

there are so many exciting things to look forward to this season: family get togethers and parties, stories to read, songs to sing, gifts to craft. i only hope i won't get overwhelmed and anxious. it can be so easy to get stressed and snappy when all that matters is being with my children and enjoying our time together. and if things become too much, i should remember it's not too hard to say no.

i would like to know what are some of your favorite holiday traditions? what is the one thing you and your family do that you look forward to most? mine most certainly is our "drive around". on what we call christmas eve eve, we get a pizza and drive around the fancy neighborhoods looking at their light displays. the girls ooh and ahh and get so very excited. there is nothing more fun to me than to watch them being so happy. last year emma called the lights "constellations", i can only imagine what she and violette will come up with this season.

if i am posting less in the days to come, please forgive me. it's just that i will be celebrating and being here now.

(on a side note, my 365 is quite behind. i am having a hard time with this new operating system and i cannot use the photo editing program. i hope to have new pictures up tomorrow, but i'm not making any promises!)

flashbacks.

while perusing my old notes on facebook, i found this little gem. only from february, it feels like it's been so much longer.

today is a beautiful day.
i woke up nestled between two beautiful ladies, who seem to migrate to my bed at some point in the middle of the nite. (violette has been waking up between 2 or 3 saying "oh, i'm really really really hungry" and then crawling up the stairs to our bed, where she crashes immediately.) my kitty was cuddled up at the foot of our bed, watching over us all, and my husband was playing footsie games with me under all the covers, pausing only to reach over to hit snooze on the alarm.

emma woke up, and we laid there talking about what we were going to do today, while brady started his day by turning on his "woody guthrie playlist" and telling his mom happy birthday on facebook. emma and i moseyed down the stairs in our jammies and fixed bowls of cereal and giggled at things like squirrels in the backyard and zeke barking at birds.

we watched an episode of "olivia" on nickjr.com, and i helped brady make his lunch and got him out the door, only after a rousing rendition of "the eagle and the hawk" by john denver, brady rushed out the door and emma and i were left talking at the breakfast table. she felt inspired to make a painting this morning, so i lugged out our suitcase of paints and brushes and all the goodies, (all the while, em is saying things like "mama, are you sure you're strong enough to carry that?") and got her set up. she was very excited that i had a leftover canvas and she got to use that instead of paper. after many mixed paints and good messes, we got all cleaned up and were a bit bummed out violette was still sleeping. she is so fun!

so we got dressed, mommy in a pair of brown maternity cargo pants from old navy and a harry potter t-shirt from the thrift store with black and white stripey socks and my worn, torn simple shoes, and emma in her "kitty" tshirt and "christmas pants" and absolutely never ever anything on her feet, we are now cuddling and counting coins from her coin purse while i type this.

and just now, she said "mama, i just love you".

my life is juicy, and sweet and tender. and i don't want to forget a single minute of it.

the essence of effie captured.

vintage
Originally uploaded by mama-effie

here i am, at age 4 or 5. i haven't changed all that much. i still hope to make you smile, i still hope to have a slight air of sophistication. i still need affirmation and encouragement, and i still so long to help anyone with any task.

all you need is love. (& a little bollywood?)

we're having some difficulties with clashing personalities over here. as in, emma and i basically have the same personality. and we clash. thanks to an unexpected visit from grammy, we made amends and she is now napping.

note to self: next time remember to breathe in, and breathe out... she is 4... is she hungry? sleepy? angry? lonely? feeling jealous?

and then i feel so.very.guilty for letting her get to me, and then making snappy comments to her. i am an adult, she is a child. who is expected to keep calm?

how do i remember to stay centered and loving? and when i do slip up, how can i be kind to myself and let it go after it's dealt with?

now i know why ariel gore refers to this as "the mother trip".



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the whole 3's thing is pretty weird... ed mcmahon, farrah, and mj.



but come on, folks die every day. i get it, these folks are special. famous. celebrities. but i'm more concerned with all the people who won't make it til dinner time because they don't have food or clean water. let's do something about that. (and did we all forget that MJ went totally kooks? and ya know, that whole little boy thing?) maybe there is a death cab sentiment for everything: "a bastard in life, thus a bastard in death".
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i love my husband. seriously. i've been thinking a lot about this encouragement thing. and while i've always recognized how hard he works and how much he loves me, i'm just really digging it right now. wanna see something cute? sure you do.