Monday, August 3, 2009

by its right name.

my great grandmother, effie marie, and me when i was still lauren marie.
(she crocheted that blanket for me, because i am her namesake.)

this snazzy, jazzy lady was a treat. when i was born, i was given her middle name. she didn't go by effie, her chosen name was petie, after a farm helper she followed around and adored as a child. (or so i believe the story goes.)

when i ask to be called effie, it's more than a passing fancy. and i feel rude and ungrateful for not personifying the name my parents chose for me, but lauren just does not fit. i've felt for my whole life that it meant big shoes to fill. "lauren" should be sophisticated, eloquent, graceful, put together. and while i am many things, i am not that.

effie means "melodious talk", which if find more fitting. effie is relaxed, fun, more likely to trip over a flat surface... much like me.

where lauren would be a lovely fur coat, effie is your favorite worn out cardigan. and i'd quite rather be comfy than pretty.

and i feel comfy in "effie". i feel like myself, with no expectations, no standards to meet, just plain ol' effie. and i like it.

"For a moment she rediscovered the purpose of her life. She was here on earth to grasp the meaning of its wild enchantment, and to call each thing by its right name."

(p.s. happy fiftieth post!)




11 comments:

VanessaKim said...

I have to admit, it felt a bit awkward calling you Effie at first, but I get why you're doing it. And I agree..it fits.

Kay said...

Ok, I'm in. your're Effie, and that's good. Just slap me if I mess up, because I mess up alot. And I understand about not liking a name. To this day, I kinda shiver if someone calls me by my first name. I've made peace with it, finally, but one of my very first memories is knowing I had a boys name, and thinking "that's not right". Although I have learned it can be a fine girls name also, my inside just still doesn't think its my name. So, my dear Effie, you are Effie, and I will not forget!
(It took me YEARS to say Markus, instead of Mark.....he had good reasons also.....but I finally got it straight!)

effie said...

thanks y'all ♥

Anonymous said...

Ms. Ellen calles me Sarajane.
so now i'm sarajane.

love you effie~ it's perfect.

~sj

Anonymous said...

I figured it was an attempt at having a name that's more proletarian rather than the "Bourgeoise" Lauren. That would have done well for you had you been Cambodian back in the day. Anyone that had a "Bourgeoise name" was executed along with their children in the name of socialism and equality. People that did have so called "fancy" or "Bourgeoise" names hid their identity and assumed more simple names so they would be considered belonging to the simple farmer class rather than the oppressor capatalist class. How noble and ascetic of you! I'm sure you don't want to execute all the capatalists and cut out their livers to eat them and throw their babies up in the air and catch them on bayonets in the name of equality though. It's not a bad name and I'm sure we'll all be happy to call you Effie! I like it.

Aaron

effie said...

haha, aaron. yea i'm not into bayonets & all :) but you're right about the proles versus bourgeoisie thing. hope you're doing well!

Anonymous said...

I'm just giving you shit ya know. Everything is the same here. Ya know I can't tell people my name is Aaron in Thailand because I get called Ellen since they can't say R's. So I just make up other names.

And sometimes I ask them to say, "Aaron can we get some strawberrys and fried rice and go rafting in the river" and it comes out as, "Ellen can we get some stlawbellies and flied lice and go lafting in the liver".

effie said...

haha! i totally started giggling out loud, ellen.

Kay said...

Ok, I giggled too, on that last one! How fun to get some stlawbellies and flied lice and go lafting in the liver!!

Kay said...

Where is that they can't so L's? Someone at PD used to call you guys something that sounded kinda like "Crandaa"

Kay said...

Or maybe it was "Crandoe"

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