Wednesday, September 30, 2009

praise be.

in celebration of goodness & light, in honor of beauty & wonder: i will rise early, meditate and give thanks and praises.

i will search for hidden joys in the mundane: hallelujah! the bacon sizzles! hip hip hurrah! the wind is playing in my hair! holy cow! today is majestic.

i will acknowledge negativity: real or perceived, mine or otherwise, and nod. take note, and move on.

in celebration of peace & calm: i will remember that no one can hurt me without my consent. and i will have patience with myself and others.

"Imaginary evil is romantic and varied; real evil is gloomy, monotonous, barren, boring. Imaginary good is boring; real good is always new, marvelous, intoxicating." - Simone Weil

Tuesday, September 29, 2009


please forgive a lack of posting while we attempt to find a new routine in this new season. i am taking pause, being aware, breathing.

breathing in, i calm my body. breathing out, i smile."

Thursday, September 24, 2009

thursday things.

-101 t.v. free activities to do with kids!
-darling little book.
-why mister rogers was the best.
-fish hat!
-radical coffee table idea. i so want to make these!
-the sweater curse.

p.s. contrary to popular belief, mr. rogers didn't serve in the military, nor did he have any tattoos! heavens forbid someone is just plain nice, with nothing to hide.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

here's the mail, it never fails!

project 365: 104
Originally uploaded by mama-effie
emma and violette have recently become very interested in mail. they have received a few letters and cards and needed somewhere to keep them. i used the pattern from "handmade home", and whipped these little satchels up. violette chose the blue toile, and emma chose the red stripes, which i found to be appropriate. they have asked nearly hourly since i made them to read their notes with me. i'm so glad they have an appreciation for letters, i've always found handwritten letters and cards to be much more satisfying than an email or phone call. hooray for the usps! (and a quick hello to my favorite postman- rex!)

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

today's favourite.

Monday, September 21, 2009

to remember

tonite: chicken & dumplings + cheesesticks + salad; nursling; talks of nanowrimo; go fish; texas hold 'em with quarters; coffee; cuddles; bubblegum in hair; angelina ballerina and lots of "bal-a-let"; bluebell ice cream cravings; cursive writing and arguing about 'Q'; lovelovelove.

a seemingly boring & simple evening, my favorite kind. i feel warm and fuzzy and full of love.

every new day.

we had a fantastic weekend of card games, getting our house put back together, football games, and cuddles, with a few tantrums thrown in. (emma is in quite a phase!) this is the first morning since theodore's joined us that i've gotten up without a gigantic to-do list looming over my head, and it's nice!

speaking of theodore, we looked at our photos on flickr as a slideshow last nite, and i have already forgotten how teeny he was. we were ooh-ing and ahh-ing over how big the girls have gotten, and then a shot of theodore came up and he already looks so different. but! instead of feeling sad and mopey about how quickly it's going by, i'm going to be a witness to his life story, and not miss out on where we are now.

last nite, emma had dinner, and then an apple, and then something else, and then was whining for another snack. so i said she could have 3 blueberries, to which she replied "i got 6!!!!!!"
i opened my mouth to tell her to put them away RIGHT NOW, and in that moment, i decided to just let it go. the only thing that would come of me getting on to her would be crying and frustration and, really, what does it matter? so i told her it was fine, and it wasn't going to upset me. (i suspect a lot of her outbursts lately have been baiting me for attention.) she went and sat at the table, and brady came and sat by her, and they started counting, and then brady ended up teaching her about addition and subtraction(unschooling at it's finest!) and it was so sweet and tender. but what would they have missed out on had i fussed and made her put the blueberries back? how many beautiful occurrences have i missed, worrying about forcing my will on her.

oh! forgive me, for missing the tapestry and focusing on the thread.

(also, i am married to the most thoughtful, caring, and helpful mister in the world.)

Sunday, September 20, 2009

"Instead of comparing our lot with that of those who are more fortunate than we are, we should compare it with the lot of the great majority of our fellow men. It then appears that we are among the privileged"

-Helen Keller

Saturday, September 19, 2009


last nite i went through my great grandma's high school memory book. she saved so many wonderful pictures, notes and little things she found interesting. she kept flowers, a tiny harmonica, pictures her friends drew, cigarettes, and so many letters. it's amazing to me that i have all of these things, preserved since the late 20's.

after sorting through the things i wanted to keep out for my inspiration wire, i remembered that my uncle scanned letters she had written to my aunt dixie in the 60's. she wrote her nearly every day, noting the weather and what she did that day. there are stories of my mom and her siblings in almost each one, which i found so fascinating. reading about my mom being a one year old, "up chucking" and having problems with her tonsils. it's quite a trip.

it completely reinforced my belief in saving little things, and hope that one day my great grandkids can go through my box of goodies.

i also went through the box of mine and brady's poems and notes and things. what i found notable was a receipt from braum's from last september, where brady had gone to get the things i was craving while barely pregnant with theodore. (ice cream, ice cream cones and a granola bar.) there was also the envelope my mama used to give us a gift for our christmas date last year, she drew adorable little pictures of us and the car we used, which was the same car we'd gone on our first christmas date in.

i cherish each of these little reminders and memories of milestones and hope and love. and can't wait until the next time i go through these boxes again and rediscover all of my treasures.

Friday, September 18, 2009

blogging & narcissism & why.

while washing the dishes today- (i always have the best thoughts and conversations with myself and the divine while washing the dishes) i found myself thinking about blogging, and how it seems like such a tribute to ones self, writing all of these thoughts out for the world, as if anyone really wants to read my personal thoughts? and then i started wondering why do i have this blog? what are my intentions with it? because i certainly don't need something in my life that could add to my self diagnosed delusions of grandeur. and it was going downhill fast, almost to the point where i break out with the figurative flogging...

and then i stopped the self deprecating attitude and the false piety, and thought... i blog because i enjoy it. because it's a way to communicate and share stories and have a 'snapshot' of my day and what i'm feeling at any particular time. and because it's fun. because it's different from my "analog" journal, where i work out my mental kinks and spiritual crises, this is my place to be positive and peaceful.

so, there's that.

admittedly, it's a bit difficult for me, putting stuff OUT THERE.. i'm quite a private gal. and to be honest- it feels a bit immodest, what with all the pictures and 'frivolous' lists and links. (i am such a snobbish prude. seriously, i am!) i don't even know where i'm going with all of this. i think it's bed time.

but i'm curious to see, if you have a blog, why is it that you blog? and if you don't, why not? any reason in particular? the internet fascinates me.

oh, & by the way! you should watch this:

Thursday, September 17, 2009

8 things - past lives and alter egos.

this is my first 8 things post, so i'm kind of excited. this week's topic is past lives and alter egos. i fancy myself multi-faceted enough to embody all of the following:

1. mary poppins.
2. children's librarian.
3. 1950's housewife.
4. a crazy, bohemian, hermit writer surrounded by composition notebooks, classic literature and tons of highliters in every color.
5. holocaust survivor. i don't know if i believe in past lives, but i know for sure that there is something to this. i remember having these extremely vivid nightmares as a tiny girl, and not having the words to explain them. and then when i learned about the holocaust and saw photos and heard stories, i knew that's what i'd been dreaming about for so long.
6. buddhist monk.
7. simone weil.
8. a zoologist.

thursday things.

-10 puzzling ancient artifacts.
-make a little notebook!
-brain teasers.
-3 way chess.
-lioness and baby.
-276 questions to ask before you marry. (while i think 276 is a bit more than enough, it never hurts to discuss the basics- kids, careers, whose responsibility it is to put in the trash sack after taking out the garbage... in all seriousness, it's astonishing how many women i've talked to that had no idea their spouse wanted 15 kids/0 kids or what have you.) in any case, some of these questions are hilarious.
-cookie dough pie.
-interesting concept, teaching your child how to argue.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

praises for today.

-beautiful music:
-beautiful misty, foggy weather.
-beautiful new baby! congratulations to maggie and austin, on this special, wonderful day. prayers of peace and joy for them.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

lamby wamby

lamby wamby
Originally uploaded by mama-effie
this is lamby wamby, and she has been in our lives since emma's baby shower in march 2005. she was given to us by one of my aunts, and she is made from the softest material you will ever feel.

as i washed her saturday, i got hit with a wave of nostalgia and sentimentality.

i remembered the fun and craziness of putting together emma's dresser. how we were certain it was much more than pieces that didn't fit and more screws than necessary... but a sign of things to come. terrified we weren't going to be good parents.

i remembered washing, and drying her clothes, daydreaming of what it would be like when there was a tiny body wearing these clothes. i remember ironing on images of jack kerouac and peta's "i'm not a nugget!", hoping my baby would look just a bit cooler than the other babies in frills and lace and so. much. pink.

i remember having a meltdown, a few weeks before emma's birth. calling my mom in tears and her taking me to sonic, telling me of course i'd be a good mother, of course i'd know when i went into labor. i remember her taking me to her house, and lighting incense and reassuring me, it will all be fine.

i remember rearranging emma's "room", time and again from the end of march until she arrived, april 20th. waiting, waiting, waiting...

(look at how white lamby wamby is!)

and i remember her birth, and how she was fine. and we were fine. and she LOVED lamby wamby.

i remember when violette was born, i was terrified, again. this time that emma wouldn't want her little sister, that she wouldn't want to share. but it was fine. and lamby wamby comforted another sweet little one.

and now, theodore has a lamby wamby. he's not nearly as interested in her as his sisters were. but they keep trying, hoping one of the times they shove her in his face and say "lamby wamby loves you, see-da-dore!!!", that this time, it will stick.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

thursday things.

-shaped pears!
-rules for poetry.
-50 things everyone should know how to do.
-banksy is fascinating..

this video, my friends, is the best thing i have ever seen.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

summer's end.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009


labor day is the signal for me, of summer fading into fall.
of school supplies, apples, cardigans, falling leaves, the scent of pies baking.
when i think of autumn, i tend to hear hauntingly beautiful melodies played on a piano.
nothing is more promising to me than the feeling of late summer, when the air gets chilly just before bed.
it's as if autumn herself is letting me know, she's almost here, just around the corner.
it's nearly time to bring down the boxes of sweaters, gloves, hats and scarves.
(and it's certainly time to finish up the last of the winter socks and gloves i'm knitting!)
holidays are near: time well spent with loved ones, laughter and food.
pumpkins, late nites, and woolly blankets.
there is nothing quite like the shock of cold tile in the morning,
the reminder: hey! you forgot to put on your socks!
the kettle whistling, the promise of warmth, at least for a few minutes.

however, right now, it's time to relish in the last few hours of summer.
my horoscope for this week was quite appropriate:

"Here's what I did not do this summer," begins the testimony of one of my Gemini readers, Beth Hylton. "Not once did I swing on a tire swing over the river, watching the pink shimmery reflection of myself in a wet suit on a tire swing. I did not take a day off work to sneak out alone to Jones Beach with a book and a beer in a ginger ale bottle. I did not eat outside at a red-checkered-tablecloth-and-too-much-cheese-on-the-pasta Italian restaurant, sucking back carafes of Gallo like Kool-Aid. I did not catch fireflies for the satisfaction of setting them free, and I did not nap in the noontime sun. Where are all the 'I dids'?" I'm happy to inform Beth, as well as any of her fellow Geminis who might have been remiss in doing the kinds of activities she named, that the next three weeks will be a very favorable period to make up for lost time.

tomorrow, we might be picnicking. or running around in our swimsuits. or playing on the slip & slide til dark. but i can assure you, we will be chasing down the last little bits of summer we can find and putting them in our pockets to save for a cold, rainy, wintry day.

i had plans...

to write a long and lovely post about the end of summer and standing between the seasons and just how beautiful it all is. however, tonite is not the nite for that. maybe tomorrow.

tonite, i have a sink full of dirty dishes, a to-do list with absolutely nothing checked off, a husband and baby asleep and two little girls so full of piss & vinegar they don't know what to do with themselves.

tonite, i'm feeling crabby, flabby, out of sync, and tired.

tonite, i had planned to sew, create, journal, and cook a fantastic meal of chicken & dumplings with rolls and veggies - we had pancakes.

tonite, i'm resolved to wake up early in the morning, & take care of myself first. because it's not a pleasant feeling when it's 5 pm, and lovey's on his way home from work, and i realize i'm still wearing my pajamas.

tonite, i'm debating whether i should drink the last of the coffee and clean like a madwoman or go ahead and call it a nite.

tonite, i realize that this is the time when i need to be here now, and breathe in and out and let the fullness of the frustration flow through and out of me.

and emma just came running out the kitchen screeching "mommy, i learned a new trick". and i'm off to put into practice breathing and being, as i'm 95% certain i will not be impressed with this "new trick".

Friday, September 4, 2009

labor day weekend...

i'll be off for the weekend, enjoy your labor day folks!

Thursday, September 3, 2009

as of late...

i've been feeling very creative and domestic lately, it's quite exciting. my brother hung up a clothesline for me, i've been wanting one for ages. it's a nice little break, going out to hang up and take down the clothes, a little pocket of time to breathe and just be. and it's nice have fresh smelling clothes, and no more button burns! (our dryer is the most HOT dryer ever, which is nice when you're in a hurry, but holy moly metal buttons can get quite burny!)

i've also been sewing a lot: a purse for myself, bedtime bags for the girls, a clothespin bag, a felt block for the baby, and on today's agenda is a camera strap and perhaps pillowcase dresses for the girls. the only downside is burning through my sewing notions quite rapidly!

emma has been writing her letters and numbers very well, lately she's been making up words. today she's changed her name to "ohib" and she's writing it on everything. the other day she got down one of our bird books and drew a bird and copied down the word "bird", so precious.

violette's latest thing is sorting granny squares by color. she will play by herself for hours, making stacks and arranging lovely towers and castles.

theodore is trying very hard to roll over, he gets to his side successfully, but getting that crazy arm out of the way is quite a hassle for him. poor little bunny is having a hard day today, he's very sleepy but refusing to sleep. it doesn't help that his sisters think he needs his music box started as soon as he falls asleep!

well, it's quiet time for now, off to get the girls settled in their room and the sewing machine out :)

thursday things!

-adorable dress pattern
-s'mores bars!
-"pretty" is oh so relative. (and i ♥ craigslist.)
-harry potter cupcakes!
-i kinda want everything this chick sells.
-always new stuff up on my flickr - i've been playing in photoshop!
-this little guy always cracks me and the girls up
-lovely poetry