Friday, November 6, 2009
this!
this is amazing. i've pored over these photos this morning, delighted. each time i click "older posts", i find a new favorite. and to think it just as easily could have been that no one would witness such wonderful captures of a time. fascinating.
Thursday, November 5, 2009
thursday things.
i don't have many links or much excitement to post today. instead, i'm going to list ten things i'm grateful for this morning.
1) birdsongs and fresh morning air
2) falling leaves, and watching them dance to the ground
3) reading lovey e-mails from 2002
4) perusing etsy for christmas presents and trinkets
5) lovey calling right as i pick up the phone to call him
6) allowing myself to participate in nanowrimo, and thoroughly enjoying it
7) my children, for keeping me on my toes.
8) motivation, not procrastination.
9) the calloused yet tender hands that mine fit perfectly into. the first time we held hands, we were at my little brother's football game. it was quite cold, and everyone had blankets and hats and scarves and was acting like it was a blizzard. we were sitting by each other, and kept doing the pinky thing, feeling out whether the other wanted to hold hands. after about ten minutes of piddling around, i took a deep breath and over-exaggeratedly grabbed brady's hand. we both kind of laughed, and then were relieved to find that they fit together perfectly. and after seven years, they still fit perfectly. i'm so grateful for that. i'm more than certain we will never outgrow each other.
10) so many projects! so much creativity! i've really hit a burst of energy, and i'm flowing with it. knitting hats, knitting a sweater, taking pictures, working on the novel, nursing my baby, running my home, cooking breakfast, lunch & dinner, dealing with tantrums and fits from preschoolers, entertaining and playing with the kids: it's all art. and i'm feeling in stride and graceful about all of it. dare i say that i feel i've hit a stride i haven't felt in quite some time.
one extra: 11) you! i'm grateful for the folks that read my blog, and take the time to email or comment and let me know they appreciate what i write. i'm glad to have something that's resonated with people, and it's lovely to feel interconnected on this crazy information superhighway.
1) birdsongs and fresh morning air
2) falling leaves, and watching them dance to the ground
3) reading lovey e-mails from 2002
4) perusing etsy for christmas presents and trinkets
5) lovey calling right as i pick up the phone to call him
6) allowing myself to participate in nanowrimo, and thoroughly enjoying it
7) my children, for keeping me on my toes.
8) motivation, not procrastination.
9) the calloused yet tender hands that mine fit perfectly into. the first time we held hands, we were at my little brother's football game. it was quite cold, and everyone had blankets and hats and scarves and was acting like it was a blizzard. we were sitting by each other, and kept doing the pinky thing, feeling out whether the other wanted to hold hands. after about ten minutes of piddling around, i took a deep breath and over-exaggeratedly grabbed brady's hand. we both kind of laughed, and then were relieved to find that they fit together perfectly. and after seven years, they still fit perfectly. i'm so grateful for that. i'm more than certain we will never outgrow each other.
10) so many projects! so much creativity! i've really hit a burst of energy, and i'm flowing with it. knitting hats, knitting a sweater, taking pictures, working on the novel, nursing my baby, running my home, cooking breakfast, lunch & dinner, dealing with tantrums and fits from preschoolers, entertaining and playing with the kids: it's all art. and i'm feeling in stride and graceful about all of it. dare i say that i feel i've hit a stride i haven't felt in quite some time.
one extra: 11) you! i'm grateful for the folks that read my blog, and take the time to email or comment and let me know they appreciate what i write. i'm glad to have something that's resonated with people, and it's lovely to feel interconnected on this crazy information superhighway.
Sunday, November 1, 2009
halloween and a mini-belated-thursday things.
-spooky tales!
-let them sing it for you. hours & hours of fun.
-unnecessary quotations.
-i'm not ashamed to like this song.
today starts nanowrimo, and i just might participate.
brb
our phone and internet services were down the last few days, and i have to admit that it was a very nice break. i'm not quite sure what was wrong, but the nice at&t guy fixed it right up for us this morning.
on our "break" we had birthday parties for dora & diego, played with playdough for hours and had a successful halloween of carving pumpkins, trick or treating and watching spooky movies. (okay, i didn't like the spooky movie at all, and laid in bed most of last nite listening for ghosts.)
look out for pictures of the cutest bumblebee, butterfly and teddy bear ever in a bit :) and perhaps a few links & things for an abbreviated "thursday things".
on our "break" we had birthday parties for dora & diego, played with playdough for hours and had a successful halloween of carving pumpkins, trick or treating and watching spooky movies. (okay, i didn't like the spooky movie at all, and laid in bed most of last nite listening for ghosts.)
look out for pictures of the cutest bumblebee, butterfly and teddy bear ever in a bit :) and perhaps a few links & things for an abbreviated "thursday things".
Saturday, October 24, 2009
my prayer for today, and every day.
this clipping fell out of a bible that we have, it first belonged to my great-great grandfather.
Thursday, October 22, 2009
thursday things!
ramblings.
theodore will be five months old on the 30th. i keep saying he's four months, but i know it's inching towards five and it's making feel so... nostalgic. how can i miss a phase we were in just days ago? but i do.i miss his scrawny little legs, and his funny "craugh" face: is he crying or laughing? (definitely more "cry" in this shot!)
how did he go from that to this in just... days? (yes, that is a gourd. emma that is was an appropriate prop.)
tonite emma wanted me to rock her to sleep. and of course i jumped at the chance. she doesn't want to cuddle as much any more, being as independent and precocious as she is. she will be five on her next birthday. FIVE. that is monumental. she'll be a full fledged kid, with no hint of baby left. there really are no hints of baby or toddler anymore, but i can't even lie to myself when she hits that milestone.
and violette, my sweet and shy little fairy. my friend vanessa captured violette's personality so well the other day: she is almost always near me and she takes quite a while to warm up. yet, i see these glimpses of her courage gathering, and her daring to venture. irony is triumphant, though. when we're home, she is most likely to be playing in her room, with her dollhouse or legos, entertaining herself for hours. only needing me to "make a sandwich, mama, it's peanut butter-chili* time" and "help! wipe my butt, cos i pooped a big one." *the other day, i was making chili, and she was so concerned as to why i was chopping onions and getting out cans of beans. i told her i was cooking chili, and she went to the fridge and got out the grape jelly and said "mama! chili's right here!"
one of their favorite things to do right now is look at slideshows of my pictures on flickr, the other day a picture of vi came up, from before her surgery. she got very skittish and said she was scared. i asked her if she wanted to me go to the next photo, or if she wanted to talk about it, but she leaned in closer, studying her lip and asked how it got cut. i explained she was born with a cleft lip and she told me that was silly, and she just "cut it while she was playing" and mama milk fixed it. it made my heart explode, but then i was gripped with this anxiety. how will this affect her? i want her to know without a doubt that she is a beautiful, whole person, and that a scar doesn't matter. but will it?oh, i worry.
and i worry about many other things, will theodore feel left out? emma and violette are so close in age, and he trails by nearly 3 years. and emma is so bossy sometimes! i know her intentions, but she can be perceived so harshly by other kids (and parents!) sometimes. she is so much like me, yet so different. she has a confidence i never had to back up the sassiness. i wonder if we've done the right thing, is it fair to them to homeschool? to live this artsy, bohemian lifestyle we've got, where creativity trumps schedules & inspiration matters far more than routine? what about religion & spirituality? they know about jesus, and that mama & daddy believe in god, but they always know we read books on sufis and buddha. i have a hard time telling them that one particular thing is true.
the most important thing, though, is that i'm completely honest in my intentions, words and actions. and who can see my inconsistencies more than my children, who i am around 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
i am not perfect, and i don't attempt to be. so i can't figure out why am i so incredibly hung up on these unattainable standards? who has set this ideal that mother's are supposed to have a spotless designer home, with little angels sitting at the kitchen table in shiny catalog clothing, happily doing some craft project, while home made cookies are baking in the oven and mommy doesn't have a speck of flour on her apron (or the kitchen floor!)
oh, i don't know. i do know that it's 2 am and mr. teddy will be needing to nurse pretty soon, therefore i'm off to bed.
how did he go from that to this in just... days? (yes, that is a gourd. emma that is was an appropriate prop.)
tonite emma wanted me to rock her to sleep. and of course i jumped at the chance. she doesn't want to cuddle as much any more, being as independent and precocious as she is. she will be five on her next birthday. FIVE. that is monumental. she'll be a full fledged kid, with no hint of baby left. there really are no hints of baby or toddler anymore, but i can't even lie to myself when she hits that milestone.
and violette, my sweet and shy little fairy. my friend vanessa captured violette's personality so well the other day: she is almost always near me and she takes quite a while to warm up. yet, i see these glimpses of her courage gathering, and her daring to venture. irony is triumphant, though. when we're home, she is most likely to be playing in her room, with her dollhouse or legos, entertaining herself for hours. only needing me to "make a sandwich, mama, it's peanut butter-chili* time" and "help! wipe my butt, cos i pooped a big one." *the other day, i was making chili, and she was so concerned as to why i was chopping onions and getting out cans of beans. i told her i was cooking chili, and she went to the fridge and got out the grape jelly and said "mama! chili's right here!"
one of their favorite things to do right now is look at slideshows of my pictures on flickr, the other day a picture of vi came up, from before her surgery. she got very skittish and said she was scared. i asked her if she wanted to me go to the next photo, or if she wanted to talk about it, but she leaned in closer, studying her lip and asked how it got cut. i explained she was born with a cleft lip and she told me that was silly, and she just "cut it while she was playing" and mama milk fixed it. it made my heart explode, but then i was gripped with this anxiety. how will this affect her? i want her to know without a doubt that she is a beautiful, whole person, and that a scar doesn't matter. but will it?oh, i worry.
and i worry about many other things, will theodore feel left out? emma and violette are so close in age, and he trails by nearly 3 years. and emma is so bossy sometimes! i know her intentions, but she can be perceived so harshly by other kids (and parents!) sometimes. she is so much like me, yet so different. she has a confidence i never had to back up the sassiness. i wonder if we've done the right thing, is it fair to them to homeschool? to live this artsy, bohemian lifestyle we've got, where creativity trumps schedules & inspiration matters far more than routine? what about religion & spirituality? they know about jesus, and that mama & daddy believe in god, but they always know we read books on sufis and buddha. i have a hard time telling them that one particular thing is true.
the most important thing, though, is that i'm completely honest in my intentions, words and actions. and who can see my inconsistencies more than my children, who i am around 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
i am not perfect, and i don't attempt to be. so i can't figure out why am i so incredibly hung up on these unattainable standards? who has set this ideal that mother's are supposed to have a spotless designer home, with little angels sitting at the kitchen table in shiny catalog clothing, happily doing some craft project, while home made cookies are baking in the oven and mommy doesn't have a speck of flour on her apron (or the kitchen floor!)
oh, i don't know. i do know that it's 2 am and mr. teddy will be needing to nurse pretty soon, therefore i'm off to bed.
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