Tuesday, December 29, 2009

change and worry and letting go.

i have a problem. my problem is that i make elaborate, detailed plans, and fully expect things to go as i plan them. and this rarely works out. and i'm learning that i cannot control things like the weather, and phones getting ruined, and lovey working like a madman.

this week is not going as we planned, not at all, and it's not fun. but i can either be angry and let it ruin things even more, or i can breathe and let it happen. because i'm certainly not changing anything.

so, i'm going with it. i'm letting things happen. and i'm not going to have canker sores and knotted muscles because of snow. or because i'm concerned that someone might be mad at me. or because we're all out of whack with our schedule and the kids are staying up to late and sleeping in too late. there is nothing i can do. i know the snow is out of my hands, i know i've done nothing remotely malicious to upset anyone and if they are upset, it's their own problem. i know that the girls are missing their daddy and trying to stay up to see him. so i'm letting it all go, and it's nice.

i miss my lovey. he is working from 3pm-3am everyday, which means he gets home around 3:45 and sleeps til he has to go to work. and the kids are missing him, violette climbed up on my lap the nite before last and said "i'm just lonely for my daddy". me too, baby.

but this chaos can't last forever. & i'm going to be overjoyed when things are settled back down.

i have hundreds of pictures to upload, but our computer freezes when i attempt to put them up, so it looks like i'll have to make a day of it in february, when we get our new one. i'm still doing project: 365, there's just no evidence :)

i'm off to go play with my new mixer & cookie sheets, i think we could all use a sweet treat!

Saturday, December 26, 2009


so, we had the craziest christmas ever in okc. the news said the snowstorm was the worst in history, 14 inches!

around 2:30pm on christmas eve, my folks picked up the kids and me to head to my grandma's house, brady was working. the roads were horrific and some kind of belt on their minivan broke off when we hit a snow drift, so we were stuck in the middle of an exit ramp, the car totally dead. there were abandoned cars all over the roads, it was completely surreal. it was snowing, and brady said allegedly there were up to 50 mph gusts of wind! we wrapped up the kids in blankets and started walking towards a house that was about 1/2 mile away. my dad had theodore, i had violette and jed had emma. thankfully a woman stopped and picked up me, violette and the baby. we got to the house, and the lady's car got stuck, so my brother and dad had to push her out. we got inside the house, and the nicest folks ever let us in and started taking care of us. the threw our wet blankets and coats in their dryer, made us hot cocoa and coffee and put on a christmas movie for the girls. i have to admit that it was probably the most shocked and unsettled i've ever felt in my life, it was chaotic. the girls were scared, so i was putting on my mom face trying to keep them calm, and that was hard. thankfully, it was about 2 miles or so from my grandma's, so my uncle was able to come pick us up and get us there.

my 3 other siblings were in a different car, and they got pinned in between other cars that were stuck or broken down, so they started walking. i'm not completely sure of their story, other than i know they ended up at a hotel, and had to stay the nite there.

when we got to my grandma's, we got warmed up and i realized i didn't have a way to contact brady, since the cat poured water on his cell phone. i started to get a little anxious about that, realizing that we were there for the nite. i called his office around 6 and left a number for him to reach me, and waited to hear from him. we didn't, so my dad called around 8:3o or so, and the lady told him that she thought they were headed back to the shop. so around 9 i think, he called and i have never felt such relief and gratitude to hear his voice. he had to drop off a friend and then come to my grandma's, so he got there around 10:45 or 11, i don't know. it was the longest evening of my life. thankfully, my grandma let the kids open a few gifts and we sang some songs. my aunt and uncle and their 2 kids were there as well, and i probably wouldn't have made it without everyone's help with the kids, and my uncle's sense of humor!

we all slept in my grandma's room, and we woke up really early yesterday morning. brady rallied the troops and shoveled the driveway and packed us all up and got things moving. we got to our house, and then he and dad and my brother left to go get the other kids from the hotel. i don't know what time it was, but when we were all together at my house, i finally breathed again and felt completely home.

brady had to work yesterday, so we packed up all the kids presents from santa and us and went over to mom and dad's. this whole thing had blown all of our plans and traditions, and we were all determined to roll with it and have good attitudes. we all wrapped presents and got ready, and brady got there around 2:30 or 3, and we went sledding and played in the snow with the girls.

then we went back to mom's, had a fantastic brinner and opened our gifts. it was fun and wonderful, the kids had a blast. i think emma was a little sad we didn't get to set out our cookies for santa, but she was okay with him being a little late.

her version of the story is pretty great: we got stuck on a snowy mountain, had to walk to a house on the side of the mountain, uncle greg was our hero and rescued us.

here's to hoping next year will be quite calm :)

Thursday, December 24, 2009

merry christmas thursday things!

merry christmas eve, folks! today we're having a lovely day cuddled up watching christmas movies and talking about what time santa will probably get here. we've decided to put a sign on the front door to make sure that he knows it's okay to come in. for my thursday things today, i'm going to list what i've yet to do, and hopefully will accomplish before tomorrow morning.

-bake santa's cookies and zucchini bread for our family party tonite
-wrap presents and stuff stockings
-give all the kids a bath and get them dressed in their finery
-charge the camera battery
-try not to miss my lovey too much while he's working today, hopefully he'll be home before 10.
-a few other tasks i cannot post for fear the recipient of the gifts would read my blog today... hi mom!

i'll probably think of many more things along the way, but that's a good start.

i hope everyone has a very merry and bright christmas, full of love and peace and contentment. hug your babies, sip your cider, kiss your honey and have a beautiful holiday, i'll be doing the same.

i probably won't be posting until the new year, i'm working on a big blog post: my year in review.

love to you all.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

thursday things.


-anticipation of a fun date tonite with the most handsome & charming man in the world.
-prayers for my littlest, who is refusing sleep because his top teeth are coming in & causing great distress.
-gratitude for 2 little princesses who know mama needs some slack today.
-happiness that a magic christmas gnome told me some gifts i made are just perfect.
-hope for a shower & rest.
-much love for family & friends & folks all over
-beautiful music that makes me dance & sing along
-feeling very surprised i don't have a nagging sense of guilt for not vacuuming & doing dishes yet today.
-excitement, this christmas is going to be fantastic.

what are you up to today?

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

gratitude and family.

this weekend we had a wonderful time with brady's family, they came up from amarillo and we had a little christmas party at our house. the girls had been counting down the hours, and they were ecstatic to spend the day with "all their families".

yesterday we received quite a surprising blessing. we got a check from brady's old job, which we weren't expecting until a few years from now. i'm always amazed at how the universe works itself out and relieved that we have a few less worries this holiday season.

the girls have been worried about santa being able to get into the house on christmas, since we don't have a chimney. they've planned to put our cookies and milk on a bench right next to the door and leave the door unlocked so he will know it's okay to come in. i love how their little brains work!

theodore is so very big! sunday morning he pushed himself up to sitting from his hands and knees. he's learned the sign for milk, so his little hands are busy asking to nurse most of the time now.

we are doing so well, and i'm feeling very rich and full of love right now. what a beautiful gift my life is!

Thursday, December 10, 2009

i've been thinking...

i'm sure most of you could have gleaned by now that i've been on quite a zen, be here now kind of kick for awhile.

and that's good. it's so good. watching, engaging, being here. it's good.

it's good up until i realized that i've become so wrapped up in being here now, i've stopped being here. i've stopped watching and engaging because i'm so incredibly focused on enjoying the present that i'm missing out on the present. i want to remember every little word and gesture, and i have totally missed the boat.

brady reminded me the other nite that we have so many more christmases to christmas, and it's a marathon, a journey. this isn't IT. it doesn't have to be just perfectly perfect right now. and you know what got through to me the most? when he said "we'll probably have 5 or 6 more couches in our lifetime".

how right is that?

and this morning, my friend sara sent out an email. her baby is 25 years old today. and i just smiled, and sighed, and it totally hit home.

one day, my babies are going to be 25. and christmas will still be here, birthdays will still be here.

and i can relax, right now.

thursday things.

a list of things i'm thankful for:

-warm socks and blankets for mornings of 11 degrees.
-the mindfulness of yoga
-knitting gifts
-party preparation! decorating and cleaning and making lists.
-emma and violette's excitement and anticipation for family get togethers.
-inspiring dreams
-snow globes
-my neti pot
-mr. clean magic erasers
-my pandora christmas station: sufjan and john lennon!
-"arts and crafting" christmas projects
-the scent of cloves, cinnamon and nutmeg together.
-my lovey.

happy thursday! i hope your day is magical!

Thursday, December 3, 2009

thursday things.

-really neat pictures: a walk through time
-collage generator
-write something
-retired teaches keeps teaching for free
-it's so true, and not so funny
-my parents were awesome

also: my little brother is having surgery on his thumb today, please keep him in your thoughts and prayers.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

six months!

yesterday my baby boy was six months old. he has two teeth on the bottom, and is so close to crawling it's unbelievable. he says "mum mum" when he's frustrated and laughs like a goober when we play peekaboo. he likes to eat rice cereal and sweet potatoes, bananas not so much. he is joy and light and we love him to bits.

today starts advent! we are counting down to christmas with all kinds of fun crafts and activities. i love this time of year, and it's so fun that the girls are big enough to participate and get into things.

i hope you have a beautiful today!