Tuesday, December 29, 2009

change and worry and letting go.

i have a problem. my problem is that i make elaborate, detailed plans, and fully expect things to go as i plan them. and this rarely works out. and i'm learning that i cannot control things like the weather, and phones getting ruined, and lovey working like a madman.

this week is not going as we planned, not at all, and it's not fun. but i can either be angry and let it ruin things even more, or i can breathe and let it happen. because i'm certainly not changing anything.

so, i'm going with it. i'm letting things happen. and i'm not going to have canker sores and knotted muscles because of snow. or because i'm concerned that someone might be mad at me. or because we're all out of whack with our schedule and the kids are staying up to late and sleeping in too late. there is nothing i can do. i know the snow is out of my hands, i know i've done nothing remotely malicious to upset anyone and if they are upset, it's their own problem. i know that the girls are missing their daddy and trying to stay up to see him. so i'm letting it all go, and it's nice.

i miss my lovey. he is working from 3pm-3am everyday, which means he gets home around 3:45 and sleeps til he has to go to work. and the kids are missing him, violette climbed up on my lap the nite before last and said "i'm just lonely for my daddy". me too, baby.

but this chaos can't last forever. & i'm going to be overjoyed when things are settled back down.

i have hundreds of pictures to upload, but our computer freezes when i attempt to put them up, so it looks like i'll have to make a day of it in february, when we get our new one. i'm still doing project: 365, there's just no evidence :)

i'm off to go play with my new mixer & cookie sheets, i think we could all use a sweet treat!

4 comments:

Vanessa said...

I love you. I wish I could fix it all somehow, or at least do something to make it all feel better. I can't even imagine how awful this last week must've been for you. I hate the snow I hate the snow I hate the snow I hate the snow.

effie said...

thanks, nessa. i just keep telling myself "this can't last forever, this can't last forever"... it's helping :) i have recently converted, i used to love snow, not so much anymore!

Kay said...

Love to you Effie, Like Vanessa, I wish I could do something to make it all better for you all. But, I can pray, and I know that God will be with you through these days! Spring is coming! Daylight is already getting a minute longer each 24 hour periord. Things are looking forward.

effie said...

thank you! spring is coming :)

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