i woke up this morning with a deep motivation for spring cleaning. i'm ready for open windows, the scent of freshly laundered cotton, & sunshine.
and instead of doing the normal effie routine of attacking cleaning head on: pulling out all of the contents in every cabinet in one day, getting frustrated & giving up by 4pm, i am going to try something different.
i'm going to pace myself and recognize that i am the mother of three small children! my default response of fierce determination and stubbornness to complete a task does not typically allow for making "snack plates", kissing boo-boos, cleaning up spills, refereeing fights or comforting after a tumble. being an extreme gal, i've tended to give up on big projects since theodore has been here, since i can't complete them in a way i want to.
and that's not right either! so, today i'm going to try this new thing, and find balance.
balance has been popping up all over my life lately, and it's crucial. there must be a middle path, & i'm going to find it. i'm determined to do so :)
Showing posts with label mama trip. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mama trip. Show all posts
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Thursday, December 10, 2009
i've been thinking...
i'm sure most of you could have gleaned by now that i've been on quite a zen, be here now kind of kick for awhile.
and that's good. it's so good. watching, engaging, being here. it's good.
it's good up until i realized that i've become so wrapped up in being here now, i've stopped being here. i've stopped watching and engaging because i'm so incredibly focused on enjoying the present that i'm missing out on the present. i want to remember every little word and gesture, and i have totally missed the boat.
brady reminded me the other nite that we have so many more christmases to christmas, and it's a marathon, a journey. this isn't IT. it doesn't have to be just perfectly perfect right now. and you know what got through to me the most? when he said "we'll probably have 5 or 6 more couches in our lifetime".
how right is that?
and this morning, my friend sara sent out an email. her baby is 25 years old today. and i just smiled, and sighed, and it totally hit home.
one day, my babies are going to be 25. and christmas will still be here, birthdays will still be here.
and i can relax, right now.
and that's good. it's so good. watching, engaging, being here. it's good.
it's good up until i realized that i've become so wrapped up in being here now, i've stopped being here. i've stopped watching and engaging because i'm so incredibly focused on enjoying the present that i'm missing out on the present. i want to remember every little word and gesture, and i have totally missed the boat.
brady reminded me the other nite that we have so many more christmases to christmas, and it's a marathon, a journey. this isn't IT. it doesn't have to be just perfectly perfect right now. and you know what got through to me the most? when he said "we'll probably have 5 or 6 more couches in our lifetime".
how right is that?
and this morning, my friend sara sent out an email. her baby is 25 years old today. and i just smiled, and sighed, and it totally hit home.
one day, my babies are going to be 25. and christmas will still be here, birthdays will still be here.
and i can relax, right now.
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
six months!
yesterday my baby boy was six months old. he has two teeth on the bottom, and is so close to crawling it's unbelievable. he says "mum mum" when he's frustrated and laughs like a goober when we play peekaboo. he likes to eat rice cereal and sweet potatoes, bananas not so much. he is joy and light and we love him to bits.
today starts advent! we are counting down to christmas with all kinds of fun crafts and activities. i love this time of year, and it's so fun that the girls are big enough to participate and get into things.
i hope you have a beautiful today!
Thursday, October 22, 2009
ramblings.
theodore will be five months old on the 30th. i keep saying he's four months, but i know it's inching towards five and it's making feel so... nostalgic. how can i miss a phase we were in just days ago? but i do.i miss his scrawny little legs, and his funny "craugh" face: is he crying or laughing? (definitely more "cry" in this shot!)
how did he go from that to this in just... days? (yes, that is a gourd. emma that is was an appropriate prop.)
tonite emma wanted me to rock her to sleep. and of course i jumped at the chance. she doesn't want to cuddle as much any more, being as independent and precocious as she is. she will be five on her next birthday. FIVE. that is monumental. she'll be a full fledged kid, with no hint of baby left. there really are no hints of baby or toddler anymore, but i can't even lie to myself when she hits that milestone.
and violette, my sweet and shy little fairy. my friend vanessa captured violette's personality so well the other day: she is almost always near me and she takes quite a while to warm up. yet, i see these glimpses of her courage gathering, and her daring to venture. irony is triumphant, though. when we're home, she is most likely to be playing in her room, with her dollhouse or legos, entertaining herself for hours. only needing me to "make a sandwich, mama, it's peanut butter-chili* time" and "help! wipe my butt, cos i pooped a big one." *the other day, i was making chili, and she was so concerned as to why i was chopping onions and getting out cans of beans. i told her i was cooking chili, and she went to the fridge and got out the grape jelly and said "mama! chili's right here!"
one of their favorite things to do right now is look at slideshows of my pictures on flickr, the other day a picture of vi came up, from before her surgery. she got very skittish and said she was scared. i asked her if she wanted to me go to the next photo, or if she wanted to talk about it, but she leaned in closer, studying her lip and asked how it got cut. i explained she was born with a cleft lip and she told me that was silly, and she just "cut it while she was playing" and mama milk fixed it. it made my heart explode, but then i was gripped with this anxiety. how will this affect her? i want her to know without a doubt that she is a beautiful, whole person, and that a scar doesn't matter. but will it?oh, i worry.
and i worry about many other things, will theodore feel left out? emma and violette are so close in age, and he trails by nearly 3 years. and emma is so bossy sometimes! i know her intentions, but she can be perceived so harshly by other kids (and parents!) sometimes. she is so much like me, yet so different. she has a confidence i never had to back up the sassiness. i wonder if we've done the right thing, is it fair to them to homeschool? to live this artsy, bohemian lifestyle we've got, where creativity trumps schedules & inspiration matters far more than routine? what about religion & spirituality? they know about jesus, and that mama & daddy believe in god, but they always know we read books on sufis and buddha. i have a hard time telling them that one particular thing is true.
the most important thing, though, is that i'm completely honest in my intentions, words and actions. and who can see my inconsistencies more than my children, who i am around 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
i am not perfect, and i don't attempt to be. so i can't figure out why am i so incredibly hung up on these unattainable standards? who has set this ideal that mother's are supposed to have a spotless designer home, with little angels sitting at the kitchen table in shiny catalog clothing, happily doing some craft project, while home made cookies are baking in the oven and mommy doesn't have a speck of flour on her apron (or the kitchen floor!)
oh, i don't know. i do know that it's 2 am and mr. teddy will be needing to nurse pretty soon, therefore i'm off to bed.
how did he go from that to this in just... days? (yes, that is a gourd. emma that is was an appropriate prop.)
tonite emma wanted me to rock her to sleep. and of course i jumped at the chance. she doesn't want to cuddle as much any more, being as independent and precocious as she is. she will be five on her next birthday. FIVE. that is monumental. she'll be a full fledged kid, with no hint of baby left. there really are no hints of baby or toddler anymore, but i can't even lie to myself when she hits that milestone.
and violette, my sweet and shy little fairy. my friend vanessa captured violette's personality so well the other day: she is almost always near me and she takes quite a while to warm up. yet, i see these glimpses of her courage gathering, and her daring to venture. irony is triumphant, though. when we're home, she is most likely to be playing in her room, with her dollhouse or legos, entertaining herself for hours. only needing me to "make a sandwich, mama, it's peanut butter-chili* time" and "help! wipe my butt, cos i pooped a big one." *the other day, i was making chili, and she was so concerned as to why i was chopping onions and getting out cans of beans. i told her i was cooking chili, and she went to the fridge and got out the grape jelly and said "mama! chili's right here!"
one of their favorite things to do right now is look at slideshows of my pictures on flickr, the other day a picture of vi came up, from before her surgery. she got very skittish and said she was scared. i asked her if she wanted to me go to the next photo, or if she wanted to talk about it, but she leaned in closer, studying her lip and asked how it got cut. i explained she was born with a cleft lip and she told me that was silly, and she just "cut it while she was playing" and mama milk fixed it. it made my heart explode, but then i was gripped with this anxiety. how will this affect her? i want her to know without a doubt that she is a beautiful, whole person, and that a scar doesn't matter. but will it?oh, i worry.
and i worry about many other things, will theodore feel left out? emma and violette are so close in age, and he trails by nearly 3 years. and emma is so bossy sometimes! i know her intentions, but she can be perceived so harshly by other kids (and parents!) sometimes. she is so much like me, yet so different. she has a confidence i never had to back up the sassiness. i wonder if we've done the right thing, is it fair to them to homeschool? to live this artsy, bohemian lifestyle we've got, where creativity trumps schedules & inspiration matters far more than routine? what about religion & spirituality? they know about jesus, and that mama & daddy believe in god, but they always know we read books on sufis and buddha. i have a hard time telling them that one particular thing is true.
the most important thing, though, is that i'm completely honest in my intentions, words and actions. and who can see my inconsistencies more than my children, who i am around 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
i am not perfect, and i don't attempt to be. so i can't figure out why am i so incredibly hung up on these unattainable standards? who has set this ideal that mother's are supposed to have a spotless designer home, with little angels sitting at the kitchen table in shiny catalog clothing, happily doing some craft project, while home made cookies are baking in the oven and mommy doesn't have a speck of flour on her apron (or the kitchen floor!)
oh, i don't know. i do know that it's 2 am and mr. teddy will be needing to nurse pretty soon, therefore i'm off to bed.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
lamby wamby
this is lamby wamby, and she has been in our lives since emma's baby shower in march 2005. she was given to us by one of my aunts, and she is made from the softest material you will ever feel.
as i washed her saturday, i got hit with a wave of nostalgia and sentimentality.
i remembered the fun and craziness of putting together emma's dresser. how we were certain it was much more than pieces that didn't fit and more screws than necessary... but a sign of things to come. terrified we weren't going to be good parents.
i remembered washing, and drying her clothes, daydreaming of what it would be like when there was a tiny body wearing these clothes. i remember ironing on images of jack kerouac and peta's "i'm not a nugget!", hoping my baby would look just a bit cooler than the other babies in frills and lace and so. much. pink.
i remember having a meltdown, a few weeks before emma's birth. calling my mom in tears and her taking me to sonic, telling me of course i'd be a good mother, of course i'd know when i went into labor. i remember her taking me to her house, and lighting incense and reassuring me, it will all be fine.
and i remember her birth, and how she was fine. and we were fine. and she LOVED lamby wamby.
i remember when violette was born, i was terrified, again. this time that emma wouldn't want her little sister, that she wouldn't want to share. but it was fine. and lamby wamby comforted another sweet little one.
and now, theodore has a lamby wamby. he's not nearly as interested in her as his sisters were. but they keep trying, hoping one of the times they shove her in his face and say "lamby wamby loves you, see-da-dore!!!", that this time, it will stick.
as i washed her saturday, i got hit with a wave of nostalgia and sentimentality.
i remembered the fun and craziness of putting together emma's dresser. how we were certain it was much more than pieces that didn't fit and more screws than necessary... but a sign of things to come. terrified we weren't going to be good parents.
i remembered washing, and drying her clothes, daydreaming of what it would be like when there was a tiny body wearing these clothes. i remember ironing on images of jack kerouac and peta's "i'm not a nugget!", hoping my baby would look just a bit cooler than the other babies in frills and lace and so. much. pink.
i remember having a meltdown, a few weeks before emma's birth. calling my mom in tears and her taking me to sonic, telling me of course i'd be a good mother, of course i'd know when i went into labor. i remember her taking me to her house, and lighting incense and reassuring me, it will all be fine.
i remember rearranging emma's "room", time and again from the end of march until she arrived, april 20th. waiting, waiting, waiting...
(look at how white lamby wamby is!)
(look at how white lamby wamby is!)
and i remember her birth, and how she was fine. and we were fine. and she LOVED lamby wamby.
i remember when violette was born, i was terrified, again. this time that emma wouldn't want her little sister, that she wouldn't want to share. but it was fine. and lamby wamby comforted another sweet little one.
and now, theodore has a lamby wamby. he's not nearly as interested in her as his sisters were. but they keep trying, hoping one of the times they shove her in his face and say "lamby wamby loves you, see-da-dore!!!", that this time, it will stick.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
i had plans...
to write a long and lovely post about the end of summer and standing between the seasons and just how beautiful it all is. however, tonite is not the nite for that. maybe tomorrow.
tonite, i have a sink full of dirty dishes, a to-do list with absolutely nothing checked off, a husband and baby asleep and two little girls so full of piss & vinegar they don't know what to do with themselves.
tonite, i'm feeling crabby, flabby, out of sync, and tired.
tonite, i had planned to sew, create, journal, and cook a fantastic meal of chicken & dumplings with rolls and veggies - we had pancakes.
tonite, i'm resolved to wake up early in the morning, & take care of myself first. because it's not a pleasant feeling when it's 5 pm, and lovey's on his way home from work, and i realize i'm still wearing my pajamas.
tonite, i'm debating whether i should drink the last of the coffee and clean like a madwoman or go ahead and call it a nite.
tonite, i realize that this is the time when i need to be here now, and breathe in and out and let the fullness of the frustration flow through and out of me.
and emma just came running out the kitchen screeching "mommy, i learned a new trick". and i'm off to put into practice breathing and being, as i'm 95% certain i will not be impressed with this "new trick".
tonite, i have a sink full of dirty dishes, a to-do list with absolutely nothing checked off, a husband and baby asleep and two little girls so full of piss & vinegar they don't know what to do with themselves.
tonite, i'm feeling crabby, flabby, out of sync, and tired.
tonite, i had planned to sew, create, journal, and cook a fantastic meal of chicken & dumplings with rolls and veggies - we had pancakes.
tonite, i'm resolved to wake up early in the morning, & take care of myself first. because it's not a pleasant feeling when it's 5 pm, and lovey's on his way home from work, and i realize i'm still wearing my pajamas.
tonite, i'm debating whether i should drink the last of the coffee and clean like a madwoman or go ahead and call it a nite.
tonite, i realize that this is the time when i need to be here now, and breathe in and out and let the fullness of the frustration flow through and out of me.
and emma just came running out the kitchen screeching "mommy, i learned a new trick". and i'm off to put into practice breathing and being, as i'm 95% certain i will not be impressed with this "new trick".
Thursday, September 3, 2009
as of late...
i've been feeling very creative and domestic lately, it's quite exciting. my brother hung up a clothesline for me, i've been wanting one for ages. it's a nice little break, going out to hang up and take down the clothes, a little pocket of time to breathe and just be. and it's nice have fresh smelling clothes, and no more button burns! (our dryer is the most HOT dryer ever, which is nice when you're in a hurry, but holy moly metal buttons can get quite burny!)
i've also been sewing a lot: a purse for myself, bedtime bags for the girls, a clothespin bag, a felt block for the baby, and on today's agenda is a camera strap and perhaps pillowcase dresses for the girls. the only downside is burning through my sewing notions quite rapidly!
emma has been writing her letters and numbers very well, lately she's been making up words. today she's changed her name to "ohib" and she's writing it on everything. the other day she got down one of our bird books and drew a bird and copied down the word "bird", so precious.
violette's latest thing is sorting granny squares by color. she will play by herself for hours, making stacks and arranging lovely towers and castles.
theodore is trying very hard to roll over, he gets to his side successfully, but getting that crazy arm out of the way is quite a hassle for him. poor little bunny is having a hard day today, he's very sleepy but refusing to sleep. it doesn't help that his sisters think he needs his music box started as soon as he falls asleep!
well, it's quiet time for now, off to get the girls settled in their room and the sewing machine out :)
i've also been sewing a lot: a purse for myself, bedtime bags for the girls, a clothespin bag, a felt block for the baby, and on today's agenda is a camera strap and perhaps pillowcase dresses for the girls. the only downside is burning through my sewing notions quite rapidly!
emma has been writing her letters and numbers very well, lately she's been making up words. today she's changed her name to "ohib" and she's writing it on everything. the other day she got down one of our bird books and drew a bird and copied down the word "bird", so precious.
violette's latest thing is sorting granny squares by color. she will play by herself for hours, making stacks and arranging lovely towers and castles.
theodore is trying very hard to roll over, he gets to his side successfully, but getting that crazy arm out of the way is quite a hassle for him. poor little bunny is having a hard day today, he's very sleepy but refusing to sleep. it doesn't help that his sisters think he needs his music box started as soon as he falls asleep!
well, it's quiet time for now, off to get the girls settled in their room and the sewing machine out :)
Friday, August 28, 2009
what is it?
it's the feeling of laying in bed, surrounded by my sweet little family; it's the first cup of coffee in the a.m.; it's cardigans; it's the edge of autumnal crisp in late august evenings and early august mornings.; it's rain; it's little weedy flowers strewn all over the house; it's pictures colored by preschoolers hung up every where imaginable; it's new bags sewn; it's planning projects; it's spending time with the family i was born into; it's real & composed music; it's the first hug&kiss attack when daddy is home from work; it's suppertime, listing our thankfuls and talking about our days; it's emma saying "clume" for climbed; it's the way violette wants to be tucked in with "flower" every nite; it's theodore's precious, chunky, slobbery smile; it's my husband's devotion and love for me; it's every tree, rock, flower, & blade of grass; it's the sky, the sun, the stars, the moon; it's the ocean, it's the desert; it's you, it's me. it's the divine.
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
busy times.
big weekend! saturday we had vi's party, and it was quite a success. though you can't really go wrong with hotdogs, root beer (thanks to the castoes), d.j. lance rock cake, and far too many presents. violette was very happy, thanks to all our awesome friends and family who do what they do. we appreciate it all so very much.
sunday, brady's dad popped over from amarillo and we had a quiet day while he slept and then we went shopping and got pizza, fun times.
tonite is church here and then afterwards... the midnite release of harry potter!!!!!! i can't wait, really. this morning we're headed over to my grandma's to play, and then tomorrow is my 6 week appointment with the midwives. bittersweet, because i know it's my last midwife appt., ever. i'm sure i'll cry :)
saturday was also theodore's 6 week mark, he is the biggest of my babies, by far, which is interested because he was the teeniest at birth. he is just so so chubby and roly poly! though he insists on shedding all newborn trademarks way too early, it's okay. i was concerned about it, and really wanting to enjoy his baby phase, but i had this realization the other day. when we get stuck in a particular stage, be it newborn, baby, toddler... whatever, and we're really sad when they grow out of it, it's awfully unfair to the little one. because we're so concerned about them not being what we want them to be, and also we're missing out on the stuff they're doing NOW. the past is PAST, right? i mean, how often do we get stuck there, meandering through the day, thinking about the good times we had or the bad, or just whatever. but we're totally missing out on RIGHT NOW.
time for my favorite cheese quote:
"the past is history, the future's a mystery, the present is a gift, that's why it is called the present."
sunday, brady's dad popped over from amarillo and we had a quiet day while he slept and then we went shopping and got pizza, fun times.
tonite is church here and then afterwards... the midnite release of harry potter!!!!!! i can't wait, really. this morning we're headed over to my grandma's to play, and then tomorrow is my 6 week appointment with the midwives. bittersweet, because i know it's my last midwife appt., ever. i'm sure i'll cry :)
saturday was also theodore's 6 week mark, he is the biggest of my babies, by far, which is interested because he was the teeniest at birth. he is just so so chubby and roly poly! though he insists on shedding all newborn trademarks way too early, it's okay. i was concerned about it, and really wanting to enjoy his baby phase, but i had this realization the other day. when we get stuck in a particular stage, be it newborn, baby, toddler... whatever, and we're really sad when they grow out of it, it's awfully unfair to the little one. because we're so concerned about them not being what we want them to be, and also we're missing out on the stuff they're doing NOW. the past is PAST, right? i mean, how often do we get stuck there, meandering through the day, thinking about the good times we had or the bad, or just whatever. but we're totally missing out on RIGHT NOW.
time for my favorite cheese quote:
today i'm going to be here now.
oh, & i love my husband. & he loves me. squeee!
oh, & i love my husband. & he loves me. squeee!
Friday, July 10, 2009
violette anne turns 3.
happy birthday, sweet violette.
our family's jester, your ornery streak is quite a bit more than just a streak. you make us laugh on an hourly basis. this year brought your first joke: "MY MOM'S A TORTILLA!!!!!" screeched loud and proud, because we all know you do not have an "inside voice".
you are our cuddly one, and the only baby i have that will go to sleep at a decent hour. (thank you for that, by the way!)
right now, you are big into your dollhouses, cooking and eating. but you have always, and probably always will be, big into eating. there have been very few foods that you haven't liked, but your favorite is pocky, hands down.
i'm very excited to see what happens this year, and how you change and grow up. i'm very glad that you chose me as your mama, and i hope to always treat you with the love and respect you deserve. (even when you're screaming about the wrong colored cup with the wrong colored straw!)
our family's jester, your ornery streak is quite a bit more than just a streak. you make us laugh on an hourly basis. this year brought your first joke: "MY MOM'S A TORTILLA!!!!!" screeched loud and proud, because we all know you do not have an "inside voice".
you are our cuddly one, and the only baby i have that will go to sleep at a decent hour. (thank you for that, by the way!)
right now, you are big into your dollhouses, cooking and eating. but you have always, and probably always will be, big into eating. there have been very few foods that you haven't liked, but your favorite is pocky, hands down.
i'm very excited to see what happens this year, and how you change and grow up. i'm very glad that you chose me as your mama, and i hope to always treat you with the love and respect you deserve. (even when you're screaming about the wrong colored cup with the wrong colored straw!)
Thursday, July 2, 2009
today.
instead of folding laundry, which i so did not do last nite, i'm uploading and organizing tons of pictures on flickr. i can do that one-handed while nursing, laundry is another story! and since theodore seems to be in a serious growth spurt, i'm looking for a lot of one-handed tasks.
the fourth of july is a "holiday" i don't really enjoy. and not because i'm all anarchy or whatever, but because homemade ice cream and fireworks don't entertain me at all. i mean, i could spout reasons for why we shouldn't celebrate christmas, easter, thanksgiving... but i like those holidays. or more accurately, i like how america celebrates the holidays and traditions they've "borrowed". i'm just saying, don't expect a patriotic HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY post on saturday.
i love cloth diapering. it's immensely satisfying, and there is nothing like unloading a bunch of warm fluff straight from the dryer. surprisingly, diapers are the only laundry i like :)
since it's out there now, we've been having church at our house recently. it's just been us and my family, but our doors are always open to anyone who finds their way here. we don't have bulletins or 3 points and a poem, but it's certainly not just hanging out. we usually have supper together around 6:30-7:00, and then talk about what's going on. topics have ranged from what's going on with everyone's lives to how, specifically, do you hear from god to sitting around the computer playing games on sporcle. okay, that last one only happened once, and it was before dinner :)
nap time for baby, commence super fast cleaning marathon!
the fourth of july is a "holiday" i don't really enjoy. and not because i'm all anarchy or whatever, but because homemade ice cream and fireworks don't entertain me at all. i mean, i could spout reasons for why we shouldn't celebrate christmas, easter, thanksgiving... but i like those holidays. or more accurately, i like how america celebrates the holidays and traditions they've "borrowed". i'm just saying, don't expect a patriotic HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY post on saturday.
i love cloth diapering. it's immensely satisfying, and there is nothing like unloading a bunch of warm fluff straight from the dryer. surprisingly, diapers are the only laundry i like :)
since it's out there now, we've been having church at our house recently. it's just been us and my family, but our doors are always open to anyone who finds their way here. we don't have bulletins or 3 points and a poem, but it's certainly not just hanging out. we usually have supper together around 6:30-7:00, and then talk about what's going on. topics have ranged from what's going on with everyone's lives to how, specifically, do you hear from god to sitting around the computer playing games on sporcle. okay, that last one only happened once, and it was before dinner :)
nap time for baby, commence super fast cleaning marathon!
Monday, June 29, 2009
creativity.
castle, by emma.
it has been one of my life goals to live a creative life & also pass on a love of imagination and creativity to my children.
lately, i've lost sight of the fact that there is so much beauty to capture and inspiration is everywhere, endless. my mindset has been one of muddling & floundering through the days, feeling a bit overwhelmed and sorry for myself for not having "time" to create.
i've fallen victim to the idea that if i'm not painting, knitting, or making something tangible, i'm not living creatively.
perspective is key here, i can make the same meal of curried cauliflower, rice & chapatis a culinary masterpiece or something i throw together because we have to eat. i can stop & really enjoy the scent of garam masala, appreciate the bright oranges & yellows, smile at the popping mustard seeds... or i can be grouchy, short and in a hurry. completely missing out on the simple beauty.
i can be open, and a witness to the miraculous moments in every day. or i can be so busy folding laundry i miss out on playing peekaboo with the clean towels or using the blankets to build a fort.
i can laugh at the 3000th couch cushion house, or get frustrated because i have to put it back. (taking all of 30 seconds!)
today, i will be here for my creative life, and just maybe i'll find some inspiration in there somewhere.
Friday, June 26, 2009
all you need is love. (& a little bollywood?)
we're having some difficulties with clashing personalities over here. as in, emma and i basically have the same personality. and we clash. thanks to an unexpected visit from grammy, we made amends and she is now napping.
note to self: next time remember to breathe in, and breathe out... she is 4... is she hungry? sleepy? angry? lonely? feeling jealous?
and then i feel so.very.guilty for letting her get to me, and then making snappy comments to her. i am an adult, she is a child. who is expected to keep calm?
how do i remember to stay centered and loving? and when i do slip up, how can i be kind to myself and let it go after it's dealt with?
now i know why ariel gore refers to this as "the mother trip".
_______________________________________________________________
the whole 3's thing is pretty weird... ed mcmahon, farrah, and mj.
but come on, folks die every day. i get it, these folks are special. famous. celebrities. but i'm more concerned with all the people who won't make it til dinner time because they don't have food or clean water. let's do something about that. (and did we all forget that MJ went totally kooks? and ya know, that whole little boy thing?) maybe there is a death cab sentiment for everything: "a bastard in life, thus a bastard in death".
_______________________________________________________________
i love my husband. seriously. i've been thinking a lot about this encouragement thing. and while i've always recognized how hard he works and how much he loves me, i'm just really digging it right now. wanna see something cute? sure you do.
note to self: next time remember to breathe in, and breathe out... she is 4... is she hungry? sleepy? angry? lonely? feeling jealous?
and then i feel so.very.guilty for letting her get to me, and then making snappy comments to her. i am an adult, she is a child. who is expected to keep calm?
how do i remember to stay centered and loving? and when i do slip up, how can i be kind to myself and let it go after it's dealt with?
now i know why ariel gore refers to this as "the mother trip".
_______________________________________________________________
the whole 3's thing is pretty weird... ed mcmahon, farrah, and mj.
but come on, folks die every day. i get it, these folks are special. famous. celebrities. but i'm more concerned with all the people who won't make it til dinner time because they don't have food or clean water. let's do something about that. (and did we all forget that MJ went totally kooks? and ya know, that whole little boy thing?) maybe there is a death cab sentiment for everything: "a bastard in life, thus a bastard in death".
_______________________________________________________________
i love my husband. seriously. i've been thinking a lot about this encouragement thing. and while i've always recognized how hard he works and how much he loves me, i'm just really digging it right now. wanna see something cute? sure you do.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
